Making Up is Hard to Do
by nicnac918
Summary: Kurt and Blaine talk about soulmates and best friends and reasons why.


AN: Normally I don't like writing fic for series in progress because it's bound to end up getting Jossed and that depresses me, but, but... *wibbles lower lip* Klaine!

So yeah, this is set during Christmas time of Season 4 and spoilers through 04x08 "Thanksgiving."

* * *

Kurt and Blaine skated side-by-side, close enough that the backs of their hands bumped together every so often. Each time it happened, Blaine was struck by an overwhelming desire to grab Kurt's hand and never let go, but he didn't. He just skated across the ice quietly and waited, because anything that happened now had to come from Kurt, or it would only make things worse.

Finally Kurt broke the silence. "I'm not mad at you anymore," he said and Blaine's knees nearly buckled in relief. "But I haven't forgiven you yet either."

Blaine nodded. "Okay," he said, but really it was much better than okay. It was way more than Blaine had ever even thought he'd get, at least before Kurt had called him on Thanksgiving. Blaine could wait for forgiveness.

"I do have a question though," Kurt continued, "and maybe it's stupid, but that guy was he – do you –?"

Blaine loved Kurt and he _knew_ Kurt, better than anyone, so he could tell what Kurt was trying to ask. "He didn't mean anything at all. I don't think I'll ever see him again." He didn't promise, because you never know who you might run into at a coffee shop and Blaine never wanted to break any promises to Kurt ever again, but he had cut off all contact with Eli, so that had to count for something.

"I thought so," said Kurt. "It didn't seem like he meant anything to you, but I had to ask."

It broke Blaine's broken heart just a little more to hear that, to think there was any doubt in Kurt's mind that Kurt was _everything_ to Blaine. "It's only you," Blaine told him, deliberately brushing their hands together. "Ever since the first time I saw you coming down that staircase looking so overwhelmed, but so determined and – _God_ – just amazing, you've been the only one for me. Even when I didn't know it."

Kurt surreptitiously wiped at his eyes and then looked at Blaine with a mischievous smile. "Even when you were in The GAP serenading that employee with the awful hair?"

"Hey! Jeremiah had great hair," Blaine protested. "You're just jealous."

"Ah, yes, you found me out," Kurt said dryly. "I am just so jealous of Jeremiah's ratty mane."

Blaine grinned at Kurt; he had missed this, so much. "But yes, even then."

"What about when you were making out with Rachel?"

Blaine groaned. He was never going to live that down. "Yes, then too."

"Good," Kurt said smug, and then more quietly, "Same here."

Silence fell over them again. Blaine thought that it was probably his turn to say something, but it took him a few minutes of mental grasping before he could think of anything. "Kurt?" Blaine said, and Kurt nodded in response. "I don't – I'm not trying to push you, but if there's anything I can do to help you get to a place where you can forgive me, you'll tell me, right?"

"Actually," Kurt said hesitantly, "I know we talked about _what_ happened, but not _why_. If I did something –"

"You didn't do anything wrong!" Blaine objected. "This was – what happened was _my_ fault."

"Of course it was your fault," Kurt said matter-of-factly, and it was like a knife in Blaine's gut to hear it, even if it was true. "But I know you, Blaine, better than anyone. And you might flirt without meaning to because you're much too charming for your own good, but you wouldn't do something like this unless there was more going on."

Blaine bit his lip. He had wanted this chance before, desperate to explain, but now he wasn't sure. He didn't want to make it sound like he was trying to come up with an excuse or blame Kurt for Blaine's screw up.

"Please," Kurt said. "I think that I – that _we_ need to get everything out in the open or we're never going to be able to get past this."

It was the 'we' that got him. Blaine would do – God he would do _anything_ for 'we.' "You went to New York, which I know was the right thing for you, but it's so much farther away than I realized. And then you got that internship and were meeting all these new people and making all these new friends and I was _so_ happy for you. But I was still here all alone and I hardly ever heard from you and it seemed like you were moving on and... It was like there was this big hole in me and I couldn't –"

Blaine heaved a dry sob, then suddenly he was wrapped in a pair of warm arms. "Shh, it's alright, I'm sorry, it's alright." Blaine held onto Kurt just a little tighter than he probably should have and buried his face in Kurt's neck, letting the soothing murmurs wash over him. It felt so right and Blaine couldn't believe he had ever thought for even a second that someone else could fill a hole that was so obviously Kurt-shaped and Kurt-sized.

All too soon Kurt was pulling away and moving forward once again, easily gliding across the ice. "I think I understand now." Kurt said. "There's still _no_ excuse for what you did and you can't _ever_ do something like that again, but I saw what Rachel was like after not hearing from Finn for three months and they weren't even technically dating then, so I do get where you're coming from. And" Kurt heaved in a deep breath, "I forgive you."

This time Blaine's knees really did give way in relief, and he landed, butt-first, on the ice.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked, concern lacing his voice.

"Yeah, I'm just," Blaine wiped away a tear running down his cheek. Apparently he had been wrong to assume he was all cried out. "I'm just really happy."

Kurt put his hands on his hips and regarded Blaine with a sort of fond amusement. "Blaine Anderson," he said. "Has anyone ever told you that you are ridiculously adorable?"

Blaine smiled. "Now that you say that, I do remember someone who might have mentioned it. Just once or twice."

Kurt huffed a little laugh and offered Blaine a hand up. Blaine accepted it and took a little longer finding his balance than strictly necessary; just to hold on for as long as possible.

"So what now?" Blaine asked. He knew what _he_ wanted, but he wasn't so naïve to think that just because Kurt forgave him things would automatically go back to normal.

"I don't want to go back to not talking to each other like we have been, but I'm going to need some time before I can really trust you again," Kurt answered honestly. "And even if it weren't for that, I'm still going back to New York after Christmas, and you're still going to be here. I can't risk losing my best friend all over again because we're bad at long distance relationships."

"Just friends then," Blaine said. "Alright." It would kill him a little bit inside to never get to touch Kurt, never kiss him, never just be with him ever again, but friends with Kurt was still miles better than no Kurt at all.

"For now," Kurt agreed. "But next year, if you still decide to come to New York, and we're both still single, then maybe we could try again. If you want."

"That would be – amazing, Kurt. I don't even-" And then Blaine threw his head back and laughed, long and loud and free, like he hadn't since before this whole thing started, since before Kurt left even. There was nothing particularly funny about all this, and he probably looked at least a little stupid, going off the way Kurt was looking at him, but he felt so good, he just didn't care. Kurt had forgiven him and Kurt was his best friend again, and next year Kurt might be _his_ again and everything was perfect.

Well, almost perfect.

"Kurt," Blaine asked, "do you think just friends can hold hands?"

Kurt smiled in answer and grabbed Blaine's hand in his. "Yes, I think they can."


End file.
